I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can't just leave with hair like that
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
