I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
