I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
