ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
