chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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