i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
