Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
