Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
