tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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