I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
nutella sex= disaster
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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