would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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