That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nicole vs. Life
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
