i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
