he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
did i just pee glitter
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
