They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
