Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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