whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
