You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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