do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
