I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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