Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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