I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
