Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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