I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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