What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
