pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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