If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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