Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Randomize
