I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
