I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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