All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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