Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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