one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
