Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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