Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
