Nicole vs. Life
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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