is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
