Christians are straight up FREAKS
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
