The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
