I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
