Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
