The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sarcasm needs its own font
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
