PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
