I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He kissed a someone with a penis
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
