btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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