Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
