I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
