How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
