i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
