I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
